WHY IS THIS SO FRUSTRATING
no Santa, they’re not gifts, they’re jifts.
my mom always throws old clothes that she has nothing to do with in my closet, and whenever i call her out on it, she says “i have never done that, all of the clothes in your closet are yours”
are you sure mom
are you sure these are my clothes
My least favorite thing is straight men who come into lush and act like it’s a direct attack on their manhood coming up to me like “I’m in here for my girlfriend” ok thanks for confirming your heterosexuality everyone who likes soap is usually gay
Fuck you u digital ass lamb
ummm excuse me
kim kardashian has been playing her own game interacting with herself in a video game
OH MY GOD SO MY MOM CAME OVER YESTERDAY AND USED MY COMPUTER AND I GOT THIS MESSAGE FROM HER TODAY AND I’M DYING
I CAN’T BREATHE
THESE ARE MY BOOKMARKS
THERE ARE TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE
MOM I AM SO SORRY
oh my god, hello how are you welcome to my aquarium
wont you stay for a flake or two
Oh sweet heavens I had no idea we were having company
Text Flirting Tip: Don’t reply immediately. Play it cool, wait for a minute, then eventually forget to reply and ruin everything
This was the single funniest thing I have ever seen a president do.
I’M STILL LAUGHING.
I will never not reblog this.
Let’s all take a moment to remember that Obama actually fucking did this omg